Want to Relax More This Holiday Season? Start by Building a Vision of the Holiday You Want
Imagine what it would be like if you had a relaxed holiday season that also filled you up body and soul. So many of us go through the holidays on auto-pilot, pushing ourselves to the limit with shopping, decorating, cooking, and overeating because “that’s the way we have always done it.” It’s exhausting, stress-inducing, perhaps sickening, even while it can be a lot of fun. Hey, who am I to buck mom’s killer pie and eggnog? But, I would propose that if we take time at the outset to think carefully about the kind of holiday experience we really desire, then we can sit back and relax more and relish the holidays more fully.
The fact of the matter is you can make your holiday experience any way that you want it. You are not bound to tradition unless you feel like it. So, I offer you here a short exercise to help you envision the holiday you would enjoy most and set your priorities for the season. If you know what your priorities are, you can feel free to say yes to some holiday tasks or events and no to others. You can take time for winter self-care without guilt or an overburdening list of should do’s. It is possible, but only if you think about it now and plan accordingly.
So, grab a pen and paper and write down your answers to these questions:
When was the last time you had a really enjoyable holiday experience?
Where were you?
What were you doing?
Who were you with?
What did you taste and smell?
How did you feel, emotionally and physically?
What contributed to those feelings? What needs of yours were being met by that experience?
If you could pin down your positive experience during that holiday to two or three things, what would they be?
Now, consider how your holidays are going so far this year. What’s going well?
What’s not going so well? What needs aren’t being met that may have been in the past?
What traditions are the most meaningful to you that you want to continue?
What traditions aren’t serving you?
How do you want to feel, emotionally and physically, as the holidays move forward?
What can you cultivate or do over the next few weeks to ensure you feel that way? What activities will bring you the most joy?
What do you want to avoid doing?
Who do you want to include in your holiday?
Who do you not want to include?
What kind of holiday environment do you want to make for yourself, if any? How will it feel, smell, look?
What kind of food and drink do you want to have?
How much time will you take for self-care and what kinds of self-care will you engage in?
Now, create a vision statement that encompasses everything you want your holiday to be this year. You can do this a lot of different ways, using a vision board or even writing it as a poem if that feels right to you. I like to write mine in paragraph form, though, and invite you to do the same. In order to make your vision statement the most powerful and motivating it can be, write it in the first-person present tense, as if you are already there. Here’s my personal vision statement for the month, as an example:
This holiday season I am rested, energized, and full of love. I take time to be with my close family in Frederick and enjoy traditions with them like trimming the tree, eating apple latkes, listening to holiday music, and going to Christmas Eve services. I shop for gifts efficiently and on budget, and watch an old movie while I wrap presents. I draw far away friends and family closer to me with a holiday card, text, or phone call. I exercise daily, taking notice of how the ground feels beneath my feet or meditating in motion. This way I stay grounded, burn off steam, and feel healthy. I eat mindfully, savoring the flavors of holiday meals, but avoiding overeating, and I substitute fun mocktails for alcohol (unless Mom serves her killer eggnog; then I’ll have a cup!). I ward off the winter darkness with lights inside and outside the house, and also take advantage of it to get lots of quality sleep.
Make the statement authentically yours. It can go heavy on the self-care, like mine, or not. Whatever you put down, though, make it your unique vision, one that makes you feel good reading it. It will be your inspiration for making this holiday the way you want and need it, and it will be your guide as you make choices for the season. If you know what you want, you can choose how to spend your time and energy more carefully. You can enjoy the holidays according to your values and priorities, and not be drained by trying to do too much or do things that don’t serve you.
This is your holiday to make as you see fit. Enjoy it!
